try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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