Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
