ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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