Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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