I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
