"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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