Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
