my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
