I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
