Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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