yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
