why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
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I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
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We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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