I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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