i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
