cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
