ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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