I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
