ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
