Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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