I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize