And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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