You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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