I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
