i think my tv is drunk
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?