Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
