would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
