it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
