your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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