So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
