Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
