if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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