Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
