you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
