Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
