don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
