i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
