So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
