I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
