if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
