So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
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