She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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