we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
