Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
