apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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