I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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