Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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