the condom got lost in my hair
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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