I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
