this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
