She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
