i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
