Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
