do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
