His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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