**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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