here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
