Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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