you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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