I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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