And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
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On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize