It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
