so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
