ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
