help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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