Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
