what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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