I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
