If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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