what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
