You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
