awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
