Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
