kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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