I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
