after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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