She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
