She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He better not be in your backpack
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
