jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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